goodness...

well lets see what can i talk about... ok so how bout the fact that i never rele get on my xanga first of all. and another about how jerry finally told me that yea he does love me .... hes just not in love with me. ok whatever u stupid jerk.. what the hayyy??!! anyway i've realized how much it hurts but in a gay way makes me look.... dumb!! how am i suppose to feel knowing that nothing i ever do will make him change his mind, which at this point i don't want him to. and now i know that he cares about me enough to love me... jus not be in love with me. u'd think that for once things might go the way i wanted them to... but nope things are still bad (relationship wise) over here. i know i know i shouldn't write about it on here but no one ever checks xanga anymore so whatever, and if they do read it then... oh well!! ughhhh omg i so freakin frustated right now. i'm not askin for ppls advice i jus wish... i jus want soneone anyone..... wait wait no i want a nice, sweet, fun to be around guy to actually care about my feelings and not jus theirs!! i want him to understand me and love me for me and not for what i can do for him or what he might want me to do ...(lol) bcuz what u might be thinkin isn't whats so! i want him to know when he hurts me and be sorry. not only that i want him to go out of HIS way every now and then to make me feel special. i want him to WANT to be with me and no one else (yes that includes no ho's). see heres the prblem... most of the good guys i'm lookin for are takin by the only they truely care about and no one else. or they r with someone along with someone else and someone else on the side.... or their GAY!!! so that leaves about 2 men on the face of this earth which means every other girl is wantin him too. so basically.... I'M SCREWED!!! well that was  a nice vent... thankx *manda*

family issues!!

Current mood: content k so big freakin krazii family problem. i don't understand y ppl get in the middle of everything, but whatever! i can't say too much because i'm sooooo not takin sides.. that would just be war!! anyway if nothin else it gave me somethin to giggle about when my life already seems to be full of wacked out ppl and problems! k so might see kimmie tomorrow for 2.5 secounds but if i don't then def next weekend. got my tv which i'm super happy about. lookin forward to tomorrow night hangin out with my brother =]! somethin i hardly ever get to do! i wonna stay the night with jessi but chyanne is on my list of things to take care of sat.! i'm so excited about a couple different things, but jus can't say um on here cuz then the whole world would know! lets just say things seem to be lookin up for me and a few other ppl in my life =]. i've been sick lately for like the last week but i'm finally gettin over it THANK GOD!! i've found myself laughing at my screwed up life and luvin that my family is for once close! it almost makes me wonna cry. my mom has become my strength, tommy's my prayer guide, and jarred... hes like my best friend!! soon our lifes will change forever and little jarred jr. or heather jr. (lol) will be here! i jus pray God leads my brother down the road he needs to take! much prayer is needed for our family!                                  luv 2 u *manda*

i'm bringin sexy back...lol!!

p.s.